Nov 22

Well Thanksgiving is just around a corner, and this will be the biggest test of all.This time of year is going to be real hard. This will be the first time that Ashley and Christopher will not be here. Not hearing their voices in the morning, the laughter and the yelling watching the parade, and making my home made rolls with Christopher. Still working on grieving stage after the divorce, some time I feel that it is getting better and then other times I feel anger and asking why me. But lately that has been farther apart then in the past. I can say that the hurt is stil there but not as bad. I havew been told that time heals all things, well that is one thing that I have more of after the surgery. I have more time to be with the ones I love, and I hope that someday I will be able to sit down and talk about things and not get angery or up set.

I am looking forward to Thursday, but at the same time a little scared. You see, to me this is a test of will power. I have lost 50 pounds since Oct 5 and I am fitting into cloths that I have not worn in a long time. I have see people who have had this surgery and failed. I do not want to go down that path. So I have a 1/4 measuring cup and a kitchen timer. Have to remember that I need to drink 30 minutes before I eat and I have to wait 30 minutes after. so if it takes me 45 minutes to eat then that means 1 hour and 45 minutes with out drinking. WOW!!!!! THAT IS A LONG TIME!

Well that is all for now Will give you an update on Friday.

Remember SIP SIP!!!